How can self esteem be improved

Sometimes, the voice is just us being hard on ourselves. But we can change the voice in our own head. We can learn to think better of ourselves. Learning to do things. We feel good when we learn to read, add, draw, or build. Play a sport, play music, write an essay, ride a bike. Set the table, wash the car. Help a friend, walk the dog. Each thing you learn and do is a chance to feel good about yourself. Step back and look what you can do. Let yourself feel happy with it.

But sometimes we're too hard on ourselves. We don't accept that what we do is good enough. If we think, "It's not really any good," "It's not perfect," or "I can't do it well enough," we miss the chance to build self-esteem. You can do things to feel better about yourself. It's never too late. Here are some tips to raise your self-esteem:. Be with people who treat you well. Some people act in ways that tear you down. Others lift you up by what they say and do.

Learn to tell the difference. Choose friends who help you feel OK about yourself. Find people you can be yourself with. Be that type of friend for others. Say helpful things to yourself.

Tune in to the voice in your head. Is it too critical? Are you too hard on yourself? Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:. Once you've identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes what you tell yourself self-talk and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral.

They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. Ask yourself if these beliefs are true. Would you say them to a friend? If you wouldn't say them to someone else, don't say them to yourself. Your initial thoughts might not be the only way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.

Be aware that it can be hard to recognize inaccuracies in thinking. Long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though many are just opinions or perceptions. Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:. Again, think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Repeat your negative thoughts many times or write them down in an unusual way, such as with your nondominant hand.

Imagine seeing your negative thoughts written on different objects. You might even sing a song about them in your mind. These exercises can help you take a step back from thoughts and beliefs that are often automatic and observe them.

Instead of trying to change your thoughts, distance yourself from your thoughts. Realize that they are nothing more or less than words. Instead of fighting, resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don't have to like them, just allow yourself to feel them.

Negative thoughts don't need to be controlled, changed or acted upon. Aim to lessen the power of your negative thoughts and their influence on your behavior. Some people feel relaxed and positive with friends and colleagues, but uneasy and shy with strangers.

Others may feel totally in command of themselves at work but struggle socially or vice versa. Give yourself a break. We all have times when we feel a bit down or find it harder to maintain our self-belief. The key is not to be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself, and not too critical. Avoid criticising yourself to others, because this can reinforce your negative views—and also give other people a possibly false negative opinion of you.

You can help to boost your self-esteem by giving yourself a treat whenever you succeed in doing something hard, or just for managing a particularly bad day. People with low self-esteem often find it hard to stand up for themselves or say no to others. This means that they may become over-burdened at home or at work, because they do not like to refuse anyone anything.

However, this can increase stress , and make it even harder to manage. Developing your assertiveness can therefore help to improve your self-esteem. Sometimes acting as if you believed in yourself can actually help to increase self-belief! Try taking more exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep. It is also a good idea to make time to relax and to do something that you want to do, rather than something that someone else expects you to do.

You may find that simple changes like this can make a huge difference to your overall outlook. One way to improve your self-esteem can actually be to take on a challenge.

This challenges your negative beliefs and will therefore improve your self-esteem. Learn how to set yourself effective personal goals and find the motivation you need to achieve them.

This is the essence of personal development, a set of skills designed to help you reach your full potential, at work, in study and in your personal life. The second edition of or bestselling eBook is ideal for anyone who wants to improve their skills and learning potential, and it is full of easy-to-follow, practical information. Instead, you will probably find you make small improvements over a period of time.